The battle was played with simplified
rules and used nerf guns to replace the spring loaded cannon. Thanks to the
Ascot Vale Trugo Club for hosting the event.
The states of Bluedonia and Greyland are perpetually at
war. No one knows when hostilities started or why. This particular battle was
fought around the village of Wellsville. Both sides believed it was of vital
strategic importance, however the whiskey distillery may have had something to
do with its significance. The Bluedonian forces were commanded by Generals
Quinn (the elder) and Quinn (the younger) while the Greyland forces were
commanded by Generals Robson and Hinchcliffe
Advancing from the north, with the wind behind them, the
Bluedonian army deployed their guns to provide support to the assaulting infantry.
The troops under command of General Robson formed column of march and headed
straight for the village, while those under General Hinchcliffe deployed into
reinforced line as they approached and attempted to engage the enemy at long
range.
Despite dozens of volleys of roundshot, the Bluedonians stoically marched at double time directly for the village and narrowly beat the Greylanders to the prize. They quickly deployed into firing lines ready to see off the greycoats. However, the plan almost fell apart as the first casualty of the day was actually caused by the Bluedonian artillery which inadvertently fired into their own infantry as they deployed.
All was not lost, however, as the Bluedonian infantry
levelled their muskets and put forth a withering fire into the Greylander
column.
It was at that moment that one of those curious events of war occurred, for General Hinchliffe’s wife, Hazel, arrived and briefly took charge of Robson’s battery. It is believed she had come looking for her husband to remind him to be on the lookout for good quality curtains that she could sew into a ball gown. Spying a particularly nice purple velvet through her binoculars, she sited one of the guns herself to deter the blue-bellies from ransacking the house where it hung. In a remarkable piece of shooting, she scored a direct hit on the Bluedonian soldier about to enter the building, and, satisfied with her work, she left again to sit under a tree and knit.
Not to be outdone, General Robson suggested his wife also
take charge of the guns, but that proved a less successful stratagem.
Meanwhile, the remnants of the Greylander infantry sought
shelter at the edge of the village. By this stage, the infantry under General
Quinn (the younger) had also arrived on the southern edge of the town and
immediately charged the easternmost Greyland infantry regiment, killing many
and driving the rest off in an humiliating rout.
Honour was briefly restored when the Greyland cavalry
squadron that had been protecting the flank gallantly charged the disorganised
Bluedonian infantry, as they rifled through the discarded packs, running them
down, but dispersing as they did so. Rumour has it that they were in fact
racing for the nearby cat-house and the Bluedonians were merely in the way.
While they attempted to return musket fire, the remaining
Greyland regiment was too weak to cause significant casualties and penetrate
the village. The supporting regiments continued to fire as they closed, but the
protection offered by the village buildings was enough to minimise Bluedonian
casualties.
Threatened with the imminent arrival of the Bluedonian artillery and having effectively lost their entire east flank, the Greyland Generals offered their swords.
